Police Presence a Gift

On the week-end, our family was at Birds Hill, enjoying the outdoors and the companionship of friends--even got to sing around the campfire.  We returned to Winnipeg just as it was getting dark, all tired and happy.  As we approached our street, a police cruiser, which had been blocking entrance moved, so we were relieved to be able to turn in.  What we saw after was unlike anything we’d ever seen.  For blocks around, cars with flashing lights blocked off every street and back alley, and an officer, hand on holster, stood at every corner.  We were unable to go home, as a police dog was still tracking in our back alley.  A manhunt like no other was underway.

At first we thought we’d just wait around until we got the signal, but it was too disconcerting to be parked in the middle of whirling lights and police at-the-ready.  So we drove north past at least eight cars.  It was incredible.  Finally, we drove far enough out of the action and ended up buying frozen treats for the kids at Safeway to lift their spirits and distract them a little.

What do you say to your kids when their home seems to be in the middle of a danger zone and the police have come out in full force to catch a “bad guy” who’s somewhere in your neighbourhood?  We tried to focus on the positive:  how thankful we are that so many police officers came to help, and how wonderful that all those officers want to protect us and our community.  It worked—somewhat.

Our alley was still blocked off when we returned.  We decided to park out front and asked if we could use our front door.  After an officer shone his flashlight in our yard and the neighbour’s, he motioned for us to enter.  I accompanied the kids upstairs to get their pajamas on and my husband stayed to talk to the officer.  After learning more, he encouraged us to have our ice cream treats upstairs.  The kids watched as two officers and the police dog searched our yard and the neighbours’.  A ghost car was still out front when we went to bed.

In the morning, everything was bright and sunny, and we hurried off to Birds Hill for a church service at the beach.  We stayed there until afternoon and got sunburns.  I still haven’t heard if the police “got their man”, who apparently was involved in a car theft with another person who was arrested earlier that night.  Other than a conversation with a neighbour to hear her experience that night, life is back to normal and until writing this, I’ve hardly even thought about it.

It was quite a sight to see those red-and-blue lights blanketing our community block after block.  Even though the need for such a police presence was anxiety-producing, I was proud of our city’s police force and comforted by the effort they made to keep our neighbourhood safe.

Crisis in the North End

This week, I learned from my husband that there has been a major flare-up of gang activity here in the North End.  Probably everyone in Winnipeg knew it before I did.  I don’t follow the news much.  I just live here, doing the day-to-day.  I had a bit more trouble going to sleep the night he told me.  Seems I was hyper-sensitive to every sound I heard.  Last night I kept a fan running.  I don’t know if it was the white noise, or just a few days of realizing that life is much the same, but I wasn’t as paranoid.

I’ve been much more preoccupied with a different crisis going on this week.  I’m sure the kind of crisis I describe goes on all over my community in numerous ways all the time.  It’s the kind of thing that happens when money is tight.  All it takes is one event to set off a chain of events that jeopardize everything.

My neighbours experienced this kind of crisis.  The loss of a job left them with the possibility of losing their home.  Their lives were in the balance.  And a cheque was slow in coming.  Would we lose them as neighbours?  Would they lose their chance to be together as a family?  How would they rebuild?  Who would the landlord get to replace them?

Their story just reached a happy ending this week.  The cheque came at the last possible minute and it was more than they expected.  We celebrated with a collaborative BBQ complete with fancy summer drinks and ice cream.  I’m thankful for this crisis.  Not that I wish this kind of stress on anyone, but I’m grateful for how it taught us not to take our good neighbours for granted and how it brought us closer together.  

The story I just shared is one of many.  I share it because I think it’s important for people to know that there’s more to the North End than what typically gets reported: senseless destruction, loss of life, and crime.  The North End is full of people who are living their lives day-to-day, working hard, struggling with loss, helping each other out, and celebrating small and big victories.  

Life in the North End is fragile.  The environment we live in can be hostile.  When we enter into each other’s difficulties, our lives become rich and we become stronger for it.  That reminds me of a popular song:

“Lean on me, when you’re not strong. And I’ll be your friend.  I’ll help you carry on. For it won’t be long, ‘til I’m gonna need somebody to lean on”.

Family: Hope and Love

I've just returned from a family reunion in Saskatchewan on my husband's side.  It was one of those reunions where the family is so large that much time is spent meeting new people or getting to know people beyond names and faces for the first time.  Still, there was rich reward in making those connections.

As I was reflecting on the importance of family--people to belong to and people who are behind you--I began to think of all those in my community that lack a strong foundation when it comes to family.  I thought of how much more difficult the past year would have been for me without a secure relationship with my husband and kids and with our parents and siblings.  I have a long heritage of stable relationships (not perfect, but stable) that I often take for granted.

 In my community, many are not as fortunate.  Many, particularly our First Nations peoples find themselves deeply entrenched in a life of relationship-destroying behaviours and self-destructive coping mechanisms largely due to generations of pain and scarring that were inevitable after having children taken away or growing up without the love and nurturing of parents in a supportive community.

I agree with my friend who spends much of his time caring for these very people and listening to their stories, that poverty is not so much a lack of finances as it is the lack of hope in one's ability to change one’s circumstances.  Without the strength of a family that takes care of a child's basic needs early on in life and helps a young adult launch out on his own, any human being will be much more vulnerable to despair and powerlessness, false sources of power and belonging, and methods of escaping rather than moving through pain and sadness.  It happens among rich and poor alike.

We can't imagine the full effects that weakening family structure has on society as a whole.  It may seem easier to point fingers at the resulting problems of violence, drug trafficking/addiction, prostitution, gang activity, and crime and just try to rid our communities of all such things.  While I hope our justice system will improve so that stronger deterrents will be in place and our streets will be safer, I also hope we'll remember there are hurting people involved.  All of us have the same needs for love and hope.  Some of us have been blessed with families who fostered that in us and some are still looking.

I hope one day that the First Nations people all over Canada will actually teach us what it means to be family, for long before immigrants settled and changed their way of life, the First Nations had a culture of family togetherness that we could all learn from.  Until then, I will be grateful for the strong family foundation I have inherited and continue building on it into the future, so that my children will carry love and hope with them wherever they go.

Thankful for Thieves?

I have been struggling with how to write about the not-so-positive things that happen in the North End.  I don’t want to Pollyanna-ize things and yet I don’t want to join in sensationalizing the negative either.  One morning last week, we noticed our gate was wide open.  Nothing seemed to be missing, so we dismissed it. 

Later, we got the full story.  Here’s what happened and how it changed us.  I’m sure many in our neighbourhood can relate, and many more in other parts of the city.

Shortly after we went to bed one night (we must have gone right to sleep), one of our neighbours noticed someone in our shed and yelled, ”what are you doing?”  The would–be thief fled from his futile attempt.  Even though none of our possessions were taken, we lost our sense of safety and security in the process.

Knowing that someone had entered our space with evil intent and went so far as to unscrew our motion-sensitive lights, left us feeling violated and paranoid.  At bedtime, we started jumping at every sound and checking outside for signs of intruders.  After all, if someone had their eye on our yard before, what would stop them from a second attempt?

We’d become trusting again, leaving the kids’ bikes and toys outside, even after losing a scooter and a tricycle.  Were they really safe?  What if the thief came back and took something of real value or destroyed all the flowers I’ve so carefully planted?

The paranoia is starting to dissipate.  Nonetheless, my husband decided to install the deadbolt he bought for the shed a while ago.  And we’re counting our blessings.

We’re thankful our neighbours stepped outside at just the right time.  We’re thankful our neighbours recognized something wasn’t right and did something about it.  We’re thankful nothing was taken.  We’re thankful there was no vandalism.

I wonder if a thief ever realizes the full effect his actions have.  Stealing someone’s possessions, or even attempting to take them is not just about the loss of some material thing.  It can mean the agony of telling a child they can’t do their favourite thing anymore, wondering if you can really afford to replace it, and worrying it may happen again.  It can mean losing the joy of summer entertaining on the BBQ, as replacing it may be the last straw for a family already under financial strain.  Always it means a loss of trust and an increase in fear, at least for a time.  When that happens, more fences go up, gates get locked, garages are built, barking dogs appear, and communities become more closed.  All because someone decided some else’s property would be fun to take.

“Thou shalt not steal” was written for the good of community, I’m sure.  “Love your neighbour as yourself” is the one I need to contemplate.  Isn’t the thief my neighbour, too?

I’m just thankful I’ve got some great neighbours in my community who are looking out for me and my family.

Good Morning

Summer is officially here.  What I like about warmer weather is the way it draws people outside.  In winter we tend to hibernate, but in summer, we garden, we BBQ, we play and relax more, and we walk more.

I’ve been enjoying the process of transplanting flowers and watching seeds push up their first leaves.  It makes me happy to see vibrant colour where once there was only brown.

BBQ season means hospitality in our home.  One of these days I intend to invite some of our neighbours over.  A number of us have fire pits, so the summer season also brings with it the nostalgic smell of wood smoke and relaxed gatherings around the campfire (not to mention wiener roasts and ‘smores).

Call me old-fashioned, but my favourite moments outside have been simply sitting on our porch swing in the backyard or under our gazebo on an old coach with strings of Christmas lights providing ambience.  It’s getting trickier though, with canker worms and mosquitoes starting to join us.

I like to walk in the mornings.  I usually end up across the river as I enjoy the change of scenery and the landscaping ideas.  This year, the river itself has been fascinating as the water levels fluctuate.

What I’ve found most fascinating, though, is the power of a cheerful “Good morning”.  I’m a bit of an introvert by nature—more shy than bold and more of a responder than an initiator.

When I have chosen to make eye contact and smile, followed by a heartfelt “Good morning”, I have been pleasantly surprised by the results.  I used to only do this when the person approaching me seemed likely to respond in kind or seemed similar to me.  Now I try it with most anyone.  It doesn’t always work, due to earphones or an averted gaze.  Not everyone feels trusting enough or has even grown up with the idea.  I, however, grew up in a small town where it was offensive not to wave or at least lift a finger off the steering wheel when meeting another vehicle—and everyone knew everyone.

Living in the city, in a culture of independence and isolation, I don’t expect people to greet me.  But when they make eye contact and return the smile and the “good morning”, it is unbelievable what a boost to my day that small connection brings.  It’s such a great high, I think it’s almost addicting.  

I asked myself, “Why does such a small act make such a big difference in how I feel?”  I believe it’s because we, as humans, were made for relationship.  When we connect in even the simplest way, we light up and our burdens lighten, too.

When was the last time you said, “Good morning” to a complete stranger?  I challenge you to try it.  Don’t give up if you get blank looks or uncomfortable silences.  Start with warmth in your eyes and a smile on your face.  It gets easier with practice.  Once you get your first “Good morning” back, you’ll be hooked!

Fences

When we moved into the North End five years ago, we made a conscious decision not to build a high privacy fence.  In our last home in West Kildonan, we enjoyed sharing yards with our neighbours and their kids.  Although we needed a fence in our new place, both for our kids’ freedom and their protection, we didn’t want to shut off contact with our neighbours.  So we had a chain link fence put in (it didn’t hurt that it was cheaper).

There have been drawbacks, of course.  When belongings are plainly visible to all those walking by, they are easier targets for theft.  Theft is the main reason that many in my neighbourhood are resorting to tall wooden fences, locked front gates, and high sliding back gates.  And the attempted theft and vandalism of our vehicles is why we would love a garage.

I still have mixed feelings about a garage as it will cut off my view of the back alley and make us even more separate from our neighbours on the other side.  

Our decision to be visible to the neighbours beside us has been of benefit to us for the most part.  Seeing as both houses are rentals, we’ve had a real mix of neighbours, but we have enjoyed getting to know them.

Right now, on one side, we have fun entertaining a toddler, sharing our favourite books, lending and borrowing things, and helping each other out.  On the other side, our kids enjoy the attention three brothers give them.  We are amazed at how patient they are with all the questions our kids ask.  If you come by, you will often see a game of hoops or catch happening across the fence.

Fences are a shared border between properties.  Fences give a sense of what belongs to whom.  Fences help keep what/whom we love, safe from intruders.  Disagreements over fences have been known to create animosity between neighbours for years.  The fences in a community reflect the level of trust and the openness among its inhabitants and are a powerful tool in shaping the life of a community.  We need to be careful that our fences don’t prevent us from experiencing the joy of sharing with those who live near us.

Regardless of how different from us we perceive our neighbours to be, our lives will be enriched when we decide to find common ground and build relationship.  Sometimes it comes down to the type of fence we choose.

Dandelions--the North End Flower

If the North End were to have a floral emblem, it would have to be the dandelion.  In my neighbourhood, they run rampant.  If any other flower grew that prolifically, say, like a field of daisies, poppies, or tulips, people would be much more likely to call the show of bright colour a beautiful sight.  But not the dandelion.

Most view the dandelion as a persistent and problematic weed responsible for ruining their lawn.  In the suburbs and other more highly sought-after neighbourhoods, home owners go to great lengths to eliminate dandelions and anyone who takes a more laissez-faire approach is frowned upon.  It happens in my home-town, too.

Here, in the North End, with the high percentage of rental homes, there is much less emphasis on image and even less accountability.  And so, the dandelions thrive.  I imagine this causes some home-owners in our area great consternation.  Others have likely just given up fighting the inevitable.  And some, like me, are devising ways of adapting by eliminating lawns altogether.  I’m seeing a great deal of mulch going into new builds on my street.  I’m hoping to create low-maintenance landscape with perennials if I can just figure out a good design for my front yard.

Dandelions aren’t all bad though.  Did you know that the root is helpful for liver, kidney, and gall bladder health and a mild laxative?  Apparently, it aids in the production of bile (by the liver) which is needed to digest/convert fats.  It also acts as a diuretic, which means it helps the body release fluid from the cells, alleviating water retention and aiding in detoxification.  The leaves can be used as salad greens or in infusions and have similar benefits to the root.

So, the next time you have the satisfaction of pulling out a dandelion with its entire taproot intact, take a bite and enjoy the health benefits.  Just make sure you wash it, scrub it, and soak it for 5 or 10 minutes first—it’s much less bitter that way!  To aid you in your quest to remove dandelions, there are specially-designed dandelion forks available.  I imagine Pollock’s Hardware Co-op on Main Street would be a great place to look.

Can the dandelion teach us anything?  I wonder.  I think that it reminds us to look at what we consider to be problems in a new light, and to look for the good in people.